Real TV license excuses exposed in new ad series — Some of the best little white lies told by students for lost or uncompleted work. Photograph: TV Licensing

Top 10 university student excuses

This article is more than 10 years old

We asked university readers to dish the dirt on the worst student excuses they've encountered – here's our pick of the bunch

Like a virgin

Love Actually — Photograph: the Guardian

"A first year turned up for supervision with his essay incomplete, then told me that he had just had sex for the first time. He knew that wasn't really an excuse but explained that in the bar he had told four girls he was a virgin and they had all gone back to his room."Brian Milne

Oldie but goodie

dog ate my homework — Photograph: Rob Biddulph

"You're not going to believe this but I was feeding my dog and my pendrive must have fallen from my top pocket into the dog's bowl – it was gone before I realised." Baztron

Wheeler dealer

David Jason as Del Boy in Only Fools and Horses — Photograph: BBC/UKTV

"One of my fellow students was the son of a doctor, swiped a medical certificate pad from his father's office and was selling them page by page to fellow students to gain extensions." Iolande

Blame the government

dennis potter box set Michael Gambon The Singing Detective — Photograph: BBC Photolibrary

"Scotland Yard raided my house last night and took my laptop as I was writing my conclusion. I did a lot of research for this paper and some of it was deemed highly classified by the government." City_Girl

Stalker talk

Child hiding in a wood — Photograph: Marjorie Sachs

"My flatmate pretended her ex was stalking her and her family and that's why she didn't turn up to class. Got a 2:1." JamesBrown90

The catsitter

A kitten to be fostered at Battersea cats and dogs home.

"I can't get to class in time to present my seminar paper because the cat did a poo in my wardrobe and I have to clean it up." NoRoomInTheDoghouse

Bigger fish to fry

Vicky Pollard — Photograph: Ian West/EMPICS

"To excuse her phone ringing during the lecture and walking out of the classroom while loudly answering it, a student announced on her return: 'I'm sorry, but my boyfriend is going to prison for two years and I'm pregnant.'" SillySteinbeckQuote

In the money

Space nightclub in Ibiza — Photograph: Chris Jackson/Getty Images

"My grandmother died and left me some money last year and I knew she really wanted me to go to Ibiza instead of attending those tutorials." Variable1

Drawing the line

Bridget Jones's Diary: Big pants — Photograph: Allstar Picture Library

"A final year undergraduate student when challenged about his extremely poor attendance at lectures and seminars, told us that he could not make it onto campus because of an ongoing shortage of clean underwear. He was not prepared to study in dirty pants." dryjoy

The science part

Jerry Lewis as The Nutty Professor — Photograph: the Guardian

"It's a hot day, the particles on the road surface have expanded, so the distance I had to travel was slightly longer than I am used to." pimpmasterkdogg

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